Uncomfortably Numb

Doug Blasdellrealityiniraq

Watching television, I find myself rendered helpless by emotions with tears streaming down my face. This breakdown is brought upon me by the death of Doug Blasdell, a trainer featured on the Bravo reality TV show, WorkOut. He died of complications of a bad flu he had in conjunction with severe dehydration that led to kidney failure. The second to last episode of the season 2 features Brian Peeler, another trainer in the series and best friend of Doug, receiving news on the phone that within 24 hours doctors will know weather Doug will live or die. Doug died the next day at the age of 44.

As a Pisces and self-proclaimed pussy, I am already an emotional person, but I am still surprised at how much I feel affected by the death of Doug. I mourn him as if he were a close friend of mine in my own reality. My tears began to pour when Brian hung up the phone and broke down to his fellow trainers. He declared tearfully that he was not ready to lose his friend and asked, almost piously, why does this happen to somebody so good?

This made me loose it.

Maybe it was the sappy music or good editing, but just by watching WorkOut and looking at pictures of Doug, you could just tell he was one of those truly kindred spirits, you would feel lucky to have gotten to know. He was golden, metaphorically and literally. His dirty blond perfectly sculpted hair and his beautiful, tan, muscular body always came second to his bright smile and kind, compassionate blue eyes. He always seemed to be the touching stone for people, and never cast drama on others or upon himself. He was also a fabulous representation and role model for the gay community.

I cried for him and those who knew him. I felt sorrow because the world had lost such a bright light.

Who knew reality television could have such a traumatic affect on someone?

Obviously, I am someone that can feel, and yet none of these emotions—sadness, fear, sorrow, emptiness or loneliness—were ever evoked in me when I watched the horrors of the Virginia Tech massacre. My eyes never well up with tears when hearing another ten or twenty American human beings have been killed in Iraq in an unlawful war for oil.

Why is this?

Why am I so affected by the death of someone I have never met but not for those people whom I see bloody and terrified running from the rooms where they watched their peers die, as in Virginia Tech and Columbine?
These horrific events did incite fear and sadness inside me at one time. But years go by and more of these tradgedies happen. And a shooting at a school isn’t that surprising anymore.

Maybe I’m simply numb?

Numbed by seeing the Twin Towers fall that day in 2001. Numbed by watching the steady tally of killed soldiers rise. Numbed by the school shooting sprees that began with Columbine when I was only a junior in high school. Numbed by living in a country where TV is the new babysitter and violent video games are a societal norm. Numbed by a country where two people who love each other deeply are not allowed to marry simply because they are the same gender.

Not to mention we live under a president with a 78% disapproval rate.

There really is no maybe. I am numb. Numb to these certain conditions and circumstances.

I think we need to get to know these young men and women that are being lost each day in Iraq. I think ever single minute of every single day there should be a little tally in the corner of the TV screen on every single channel of how may PEOPLE are dying in the war. Remember a while when one of the major news channels read the names of American lost in Iraq? That list should be read every single week.

We need to humanize those who are being lost because they are just numbers to most Americans. Certainly not the families losing these people, but to me and my friends and most of the people around me in the city, and I’m sure across the country, we just know the numbers.

We should be affected by this. I’m 25, these people dying are my age, my generation.

What the fuck?


May 4, 2007. Life, Me Me Me!, News, Politics, Thoughts.

One Comment

  1. principles to live by « Confessions of a Neurotic Stoner replied:

    […] principles to live by Again, I’m not sure why the death of Doug Blasdell has affected me so much, seeing as I never met him or knew him personally besides watching him on Bravo’s WorkOut. (I’ve written about him before; you can see that entry below.) […]

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